Rewriting the news so it more accurately reflects life….
What CNN said is in the blockquotes. My rewrite of each section.
Britney Spears is bizarre
Britney Spears apologized for attacking a photographer’s car with an umbrella in February, saying that at the time she was preparing to try out for a movie part and got carried away.
Britney Spears made herself look like her brain cell was on power saving mode when she tried to apologize for doing the KGB on a paparazzi’s car by saying she was only wanting to be an actress and she saw how being stupid worked for other people with no talent.
The incident took place during the same period in which she shaved her head, got new tattoos and was seen partying hard in Los Angeles clubs.
It was just one of a series of publicity mistakes brought on by alcohol and drug use.
“I apologize to the pap for a stunt that was done 4 months ago regarding an umbrella,” Spears said in a statement posted Wednesday on her Web site.
I haven’t been in the news for a few months so I’m going to bring up something stupid I did so the media will pay attention to me again.
“I was preparing my character for a roll (sic) in a movie where the husband never plays his part so they switch places accidentally. I take all my rolls very seriously and got a little carried away. Unfortunately I didn’t get the part.”
That speaks for itself but a line was missing from the end. It should read, “I take all my rolls very seriously and got a little carried away. Unfortunately I didn’t get the part because the movie people said they wanted people that knew how to act.”
Not long after the incident, Spears checked into rehab.
Years too late, Spears checked into rehab for the first time of many.
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