Reporting from inside _________ Airport where thousands of angry and frustrated travelers are stranded, this is __________ with ______ news. They aren’t getting the answers they need from Air Canada. _______ is trying to get from Montreal to Newfoundland. He gets put on a flight… it is cancelled, repeat.
Every year, the same old news broadcasters send out the same old reporters to cover the same old story. Let me help with some advice.
- Don’t fly Air Canada. If another airline is too expensive, take the bus instead. You will probably arrive around the same time at your destination as the Air Canada flight will.
- Winter doesn’t start in December in Canada. If you aren’t from around here, assume that it will start in September and will end some time in June. Ignore the season listings on your Calendar.
- If you are wanting to travel during the Christmas season, give yourself an extra week to get there and an extra two weeks to get back.
- You are flying at one of the busiest times of the season, expect long lines. Bring a friend and a deck of cards. The house of cards you build together will be as stable as the weather.
- If you are interviewed by a news reporter, have fun with them. Pretend you are in the NHL and use some quality clichés about giving 110%. Repeat clichés regardless of the question asked.
- Wear a “Global Warming, Please Start Here!” shirt. You’ll find out who you can’t trust really quickly. They’ll be the ones arguing with you, telling you that the awful weather is actually climate change and not winter.
- If you are near the front of a line, invite someone near the back to go ahead of you. The thanks you get will be worth the whining from the other thousand people.
If you are in Canada, it isn’t unexpected to be stranded in an airport during a blizzard in December. It is also very normal for Air Canada to suck. Why in the world is that news?
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