Britain

The introduction to this article was written by the Department of Redundancy Department.

Smacking children with a cane, slipper or belt will become a criminal offence, with parents facing possible jail sentences under proposals being considered by the Government.

Smacking children with a cane, slipper or belt will become a criminal offence, with parents facing possible jail sentences under proposals being considered by the Government.

A consultation document to be published by the Department of Health today will propose that the law be amended to make it illegal for parents to hit their children with any implement or punish them in a way likely to injure the head, eyes or ears.

So not only are parents not allowed to smack their children with a slipper, but forcing them to listen to Celine Dion is also illegal. I guess I’m all for that.

No word on whether extreme Islamists are able to behead their children if they convert to Christianity. Technically, it only hurts the neck right?

I was walking down the street and I was attacked by a roaming Palm Tree! It was like a tiger! Please city council! Protect Me!

Colin Charlwood, a Liberal Democrat councillor, said: “The truth is that, like everything else, health and safety regulations mean we have to be mindful that palm trees could be dangerous.

“What if one of those leaves caught a child in the eye, for example? It is a little bit like keeping tigers: they are beautiful to look at but you wouldn’t want them wandering the streets. What is being suggested is not that we don’t have them, but that they need to be placed out of harm’s way.” Mr Excell said the trees were vital to the resort’s identity.

Maybe if we could just hang a 4×6 foot sign around each tree to warn people of the huge hazard awaiting them in case they run into it.

From The Telegraph [via].